Genesis 38: Judah’s Entire Family Sleeps with Tamar
Judah, the jerk brother who suggested that they could eat their cake and have it too by selling Joseph into slavery, meets a girl, marries her, lays with her, and has a son named Er inside of a single verse (1). Two more sons are born before the next two verses are out — Onan and Shelah. Before we know it, Judah is getting a wife for his son, so time must be flying by while Joseph is in Egypt.
Judah got a wife for Er, his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the Lord’s sight; so the Lord put him to death. (6)
We haven’t seen God take anyone out directly for a while now, so it’s nice to know that he still has the stones to do it. Unfortunately, I can’t find anywhere that says what Er did to earn God’s wrath. Perhaps he erred? I’m sorry for that one.
Judah Orders Onan to Sleep With His Dead Brother’s Wife
Er is still fresh in the ground when Judah orders Onan to “fulfill his duty to her [Tamar] as a brother-in-law to produce offspring for [his] brother” (8). What kind of a duty is this? Is this some ancient custom that I’m unaware of?
I can remember reading this next passage as a young kid in Catholic school. I used to show it around and it made us crack up (not that we really knew what was going on):
But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother. What he did was wicked in the Lord’s sight; so he put him to death also. (9-10)
Apparently, God had some blood lust towards Judah’s family. I think that this passage is pointed to in order to “prove” that contraception — here, literally any act that prevents the semen from potentially reaching an egg — is abhorred by God.
It looks pretty clear. God has not punished many people for pimping or sleeping around with concubines, but he puts Onan to death just for pulling out. So far, he hasn’t punished Dinah’s brothers for committing mass genocide against anyone within close proximity of her rapist. But he kills Onan.
Of course, what is not mentioned in these arguments is that Onan is happily having sex with his dead brother’s wife. It doesn’t say anywhere that Onan married Tamar. So, isn’t this a form of fornication? God’s not upset by that fact, but he’s upset that he pulled out? Come on!
On a side note, I’d hate to be Tamar. She’s the first black widow. Every man that sleeps with her has been personally killed by God. That’s quite a turn-off if you ask me.
Tamar Tricks Judah Into Sleeping With Her
Judah sends Tamar off to live as a widow, under the guise that she needs to wait for his son Shelah to grow up. But Judah isn’t a fool and he really just doesn’t want to lose another son to this woman.
Years later, Judah’s wife dies and he heads out on a road trip to see the men who are tending his sheep. Tamar finds out about his travel itinerary and disguises herself. She waits for him in ambush by the entrance to Enaim because she has not been granted Shelah as a husband.
Judah, thinking that the woman lying in wait is a prostitute, tries to pick her up — promising her a young goat in exchange for her sexual services. The goat, however, is back with the flock and Tamar asks for a deposit, grabbing his seal, cord and staff. Judah sleeps with his own daughter-in-law (apparently without knowing it) and she becomes pregnant. When Judah tries to send the goat as payment, no one in the town is aware of a prostitute working the corner in question (near the shrine) and he forgets about the whole matter.
Three months later, Tamar’s pregnancy becomes apparent and she is accused of prostitution. Judah is delighted by this news because he’s apparently itching to kill his own daughter-in-law. He asks that she be brought out and burned to death! When she is brought out, she produces the seal, cord and staff which are instantly recognized by Judah:
Judah recognized them and said, “She is more righteous than I, since I wouldn’t give her to my son Shelah.” And he did not sleep with her again. (26)
He isn’t upset? He already hates this woman and she has duped him by posing as a prostitute. In any case, she gives birth to twins who compete for who will come out of the womb first. It looks like the prize is going to Zerah and a thread is tied around his wrist for identification. But he disappears back inside her womb and his brother, Perez, comes out instead. I wonder if this detail will make a difference later. So far in Genesis, we have seen that it pays to be the youngest. So, perhaps Zerah got the better end of this deal.
Genesis 39: The Desperate Housewife of Egypt
Chapter 39 finds us panning back to Joseph’s trials in Egypt. As you’ll recall, Joseph was purchased by Pharaoh’s captain of the guard, Potiphar. Joseph quickly becomes a favored slave and is made Potiphar’s attendant — in charge of his household. As a result of his stewardship, Potiphar’s home and possessions blossom and grow.
Unfortunately for Joseph, Potiphar’s wife is one of the original Desperate Housewives of Egypt.
Now Joseph was well-built and handsome, and after a while his master’s wife took notice of Joseph and said, “Come to bed with me!” (7)
Unlike any other man that we have seen so far in the history of humankind, Joseph refuses to have sex with her. That’s got to be a record: no one in Genesis has turned down free sex. He finally embodies some virtues that make sense to a modern sensibility: he doesn’t want to betray his master, Potiphar, and God by sleeping with her. She tries day after day, but he continues to hold his ground. That’s when things get hot:
One day he went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants was inside. She caught him by his cloak and said, “Come to bed with me!” But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house. (11-12)
Imagine the delight these passages brought to a young child in Catholic school asking uncomfortable questions of his teachers. Genesis is a goldmine.
Potiphar’s Wife Falsely Accuses Joseph of Rape
Potiphar’s wife is a real bitch and decides to get Joseph in trouble by calling in the servants and accusing Joseph of rape. When Potiphar hears her story, he throws Joseph in jail. Fortunately, God is with Joseph and he is able to pull an Andy Dufresne: he becomes the pet of the prison warden, who promptly places Joseph in charge of all the prisoners.
